《关闭小说畅读模式体验更好》

        Daylightdemurelyclosedhereyesandacceptedthekissoftheprinight．Gradually，almostimperceptibly，nightanddaymergedintoone．Whenthefullmooninhersilvery,luminoussplendorshoherosegarden,shesasyDimitrimakinghiswaybackafterthhlydrowninghissorrowsinliquor．Hehadfottenabouthischildhoodtraumaandy．Normallyretit，winemadehimtalkativeaasthoughhehadalottosay．Hespokealoudtothegeousrosesthatseemedtonodwiselyiintheslightbreeze．Suchareceptiveaudiencedhimtorambleonandon，walkingabout，gesturingexpressivelyonunsteadyfeet．

        "Inaimes,longbeforemaheearth，springwasalreadythebesttimeforproliferation．nights,numerousanimalswouldseektheirmatesandcoputetoperpetuatetheirbreed．Maninallydidthesame，butnowthathehasprogressedfarbeyondtheanimalkingdom,sexhasbeoreofaphysijoymentthantheneedofnaturefeion.Inthecoverofdarkonight，doyouknowhoeoplearedoingjustthat?”

        “Manisonlyawarm-temperaturedanicbody，nodifferentfromanimals，withthesamesexualhebeginningoflifestartedwiththeunionofthespermwiththeovaryiheuterus.Thesinglecelltookthreebilliooevolveintohumanlife．Moderellsusthatthegrowthofafertilizedcellintoababyisarepetitionofthesameprocessofevolution，butittakesonlyhs．Ithinkthattheelementoffateisaddedatthemomentofception．Withoutthiselement,everyonewouldbethesame．Theywouldlookalike,havethesamelifespanandtherewouldbenosuccessesorfailures,justlikeproductsfromafactoryassemblyliheexterioroftheembryosofallmammonlookthesame，butthedifferentgehemmakethemgrowintodifferentanimals：cows，sheep，pigsetc.WhatIcalltheelementoffateisiainwaysretedtogenes．Ofcourse，thisisonlymydaringassumptionwithoutmuchevideosupportit．Butlifeisamysterynoonehasbeeosolve.”

        “Manismorefortuhanotheranimalsinthatduringtheslowprocessofevolution，asedselfwasbornthatcouldthinkforitself．Thisiswhatnootheranimalhas．Itissimpletosatisfytheneedsofthefleshbody,whilyrequiresfood,shelterandsexualsatisfa．Butmaniscalledtheofanimalsbecausehehasabodywhioloisfiedwithsuchbasieedsandwhitainsasedselfthatthinkforitselfandcouldorderthebodytoperpetuallyseekenjoyment,lustandgreed．Butthatthinkingsedselfalsohasthepowersofself-examination，whichproducesthestandardsofbehavior．Withtheexistenmuhesestandardsbecameintricatewswhitrolthefleshboingoutofbounds．Likewise，moralitytrolsthesedselfsothatitwouldnothavetoomuchfreerein．Soweetothequestion‘Whatislife?’Ithinklifeisjusthowtomanageourfleshbody．Itshouldcarefullymonitorourthinkingsedselfbecauseithasthecapacitytodobothgoodandevil”．

        Withthat，Dimitritookouthisunfitleofliquorandtookanotherquaff．TheactivitiesofDimitri’sbrainweregraduallysloweddoorbytheliquor．buthismother’sstwordstohimresoundedrepeatedlyinhisearuntilhecouldstanditnomore．

        "OhAmalia,youcheapnastywoman!”hecriedbitterly."Youuseyourfleshbodyasatoolforyourownpleasures，hinkingitistherootofallevilthatgivesrisetedies，ofwhichIamone．Youmiserablestrumpet，youcallmeabitch’sbastard．Whatdoesthatmakeyou?Abitch!”Hestrodeaboutangrily．"Abitch！Bit...hic..ch!”Hiccupsstoppedhiswords．"Bit...hic...ch!Stopthat！"hesnappedangrilyathishiccup．"You’realsoason-of-a-bitch!Hic”Hepulledouthisbottleandtriedtodrownhisannoyinghicliquor．"Oh，yes，whenIwassmallIlivedlikeawilddog，beggingformediewhenIwasill，rummagingingarbagesforfoodandclothes．Younevercaredahootaboutme，thoughItriedsohardtopleaseyou,sohard…”

        Self-pitywelledupandhealmostcried．"Whydidymeintothisworld?Why?IcallmyselfDimitriJa,butwhoknowswhatkindofbloodflowsthroughmyveins.NotoldJa’s，that’sforsure．Awholevariety!"Theangerfredupagain．"Pyaroundifyouwant，butyoushouldn’thavegottenyourson-of-a-bitch’slovertomurderoldJatopayyamblis．Hewasdettous.Youdeservedtodie．Youdid．Youdid．Yhtallthisonyourself．Ihadnothingtodowithit，youbitch!Bitch!Bitch！！！"Dimitriraisedhisvoidwasshoutinghysterically．Suddenly，hestoppedtalkingaosphimselfonthecheek．"WhatabumIamtotalklikethisaboutmyownmotherwhohasbeendeadalltheseyears．Ifshewasbad,sheunishedforitandpaidherdues．WhoamItobeheriudge?HowgoodamI？WhohaveIinthisworld?”Hebawledlikeachild,huddledinaeroftherosegarden.Butthen,hisfiouchedthebottleofliquorandhemumbledtohimself"Yes,Imightaswellgetdrunk!Mightaswellgetdrunk!”

        Theliquorsentastreamofwarmthrightdowntohisabdomen.Dimitrifelttipsyandwasetedagain．Heughedandtalkedtohisunseenaudiehisfleshbodyisamiracleofevolution，butitisalsoagreathindrahesoulcouldbeseparatedfromthebody，Iwouldrathergiveupmyfleshbodybecauseallsinsandlustsstemfromit.”Hethoughtforamomentandthenshookhishead．"No,thisbodyofoursistheproductofbillionsofyearsofgeandshouldnotbelightlygivenup．Andwhoknowsforsurewhetherthebodyandthesoulbeseparated?Iwilltiobeonthealertandwatchoverit,toseethatitdoesnoevil．IthinkIhavedoneagreatjoballtheseyears．Yes,Ihave.”Heughediationandwavedahandatthemyriadofstarstwinklingintheskysaying，"IwilnnouoallyouheavenlybodiesthatI,DimitriJa,havemanagedmyfleshbodywell．Despitemyhumbleins,Ihaveitdoanyevil,soIneedfearherGodnormaookanotherdrinkandsaidtothehostsofcrimsonrosessurroundinghim，"Doyouknow?YouandIarediffereures.0urexistehisearthofoursmakesitdifferentfromandfarsuperiortothosethousandsofstarsoutthereinthesky．Ha,ha,ha”Exultantlyjubintandalittlehazy，hesaidtothem,"Rose!Rose!Youareattheheightofyourbeauty．Pleasedon’twitherawaywhileI’masleep!"Hiswordsturoamumbleaumbledtothegroundandfellfastasleep．Heseemedtohearachorusofbeautifulsopranovoidhisagingbody,likeahalf-hollowedtree,wasinvigoratedbyitandmadefulloflifefain．

        Them，Dimitriatdawnandsittingontheparkbenchdrinkingcoffee．Themfogturnedeverythingiaoawhitemass．ThereflesoftheswayingbraheweepingwillowsoilesswavesofLakeMerrittseemedtopersonifyadnguidwoman,half-yielding,half-resisting．Dimitriwasgroggyandsufferingfromahangroanedandsaidtohimself，"NowwhydidIhavetogoanddrinksomuight?Thatwasreallystupidofme．Butwhat’stheharmofanoccasionalfling?IwonderwhatAmaliaisdoingnow．Perhapsshesleepsonacloudandrefreshedfrht’srestisnowsittingbeforehermirror，bingherhairandmakingherselfbeautifulfortheday．IwohereisstillthedifferenceofsexesinHeaven．Ifthereis，isAmaliastilsiedinsexualintercoursewithmultipartnersasshewasoh?Perhapstheyallliveonclouds,lightlyfloatingalroundtheuniverse．Whentwoeet,theywoulduniteinapassionateandcrushingembradmakeloveoherybuoyantcloud,theiriyandenjoymentincreasingwiththelullingandslightlyrogmovementofthecloudasitfluctuateswiththewind．Afterthatbriefunion，theywouldfloatapart，eachgoinghisownway.IfAmaliaisasiedinsexassheusedtobe，thatwouldbeidealforher．Oh，heavenlyresidentsmuststillhavesex，orAmaliawouldbeboredtodeath!”

        ThenDimitri’smindbecamebnkayasthemmist,butafamiliartuteninhisyouthpersistentlycroppedintohissciousness：

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